How Indonesian Movies Screw Our Brains

Indonesian has quite an experience in "state affairs". In fact, born in 1945, we should have developed as any other countries, but not in Movie Industry.

There is several types of shows I would discuss.

Theater Movies

Indonesian have a lot of movie genres, But I only write the most ridiculous popular ones.

Teenage Romance

This type tells the teenage lifestyle which include school life, shy relationship, friendship and betrayal, teenage love, plus loads of crap

The story usually about girl as the main character, who fall or will fall in love with the most popular boy in school, the girl always pictured as average girl (which of course to the popular ones, it's below standard), maybe a bit geeky, clumsy, funny, also fulfill criteria for any Indonesian girls to slip in and take over her place.
First the girl should act like she doesn't care and put no slightest interest to the boy, then as time goes and we put cliche that makes us say "Yeah right..." brilliant twists in the story that finally they interested in each other, then the evil slutty gang of girls start to bully the girl (or maybe the girl caught the boy with some flirting bimbos), that make the the girl decided to stay away from the boy, after the misunderstanding they're back together and of course the lovey-dovey scene. End. Just like all girls manga should ended.


Semi-porn

This one is about the young lifestyle which maybe in country such as USA, it's common, but for us will be a BIG deal. First we have a bunch of pretty hot girls which meet Indonesian standard, then group consist about 3 guys, and supernumeraries playing the role of parents, friends, gardener, or whatever we could add to significantly degrade your intellectual, and brain power to make the movie worth watching.

We start from showing the girls in sexy wild scene, wearing swimsuit or lingerie, dancing randomly while laughing like little monkeys as the appetizer. Then the story starts by showing us the "lifestyle" such as freesex (this is the main idea, always), cigars, drugs, club, hookers, and so on forth. From there, the film director could tweak the storyline as they wish, maybe the girls and the guys would be paired, or the girls become hookers and finally they repent, or just one guy and one girl become the focus, the rest just keep having sex like crazy rabbits.

The moral of the story usually isn't so far from freesex, such as, don't do freesex, just have sex when you're married and with the person you marry, or beware of sexually transmitted disease, which is far far away from what people get after watch the movie, because mostly they only show how "good" freesex is. Educational much?

Horror

Oh yeah, Indonesian loves horror movies, I just don't get people who go to cinema, queue, pay for the ticket, waited until the movie starts, just to have themselves being scared. Anyway, horror movie in Indonesia is quite horrifying, I mean it, I could never stand the movie until the end without walk out of the cinema or doing something else. I don't know whether it's boring, or cliche, or actually scary, I never like horror movies, especially Indonesians.


Then the example:first, choose the ghost's name, maybe Pocong (Indonesian scary 'being' wrapped in white cloth which ridiculously resembles candy), Kuntilanak (Indonesian ghost with typical long hair and white robe, laughing and of course scary face), Headless ghost, Armless Ghost, Virgin Ghost seek for revenge, or (put the place it haunted) (put the occupation) Ghost (add the cause of death). Then we got a bunch of brave imbeciles guys and girls, usually youngsters, consists maybe about 6 person, then the story goes by until the group reach the haunted place, there they do stuffs that maybe violate the rules or make the ghost angry whatsoever then the ghost start to freak the shit out of them, they die one by one and when it's only few left (preferably a couple with angelic faces) finally get over it and keep the ghost under control, live happily ever after, it sucks that I feel like choking the crap out of the director.


Semi-porn + Horror + Comedy

Here comes, the ultimate abomination of movie franchise, imagine put your hands into rotten cow carcass, plus a photo of your principal's face when taking dump, plus hearing William Hung complete album's noise in max volume, plus finding a super slow walking squadron of annoying teenage girls laughing obnoxiously in front of you when going to the cinema that you can't pass through them and just waited until you reach the place and sit then watch your favorite movie while person beside you mumbling how the story goes. Yeah, that's how bad it is.

The movie shows people having sex, people dying, people forced laughs, low budget special effects, wrong timing banging noise, fake thunderbolts, and cheapskate Halloween costumes. The movie starts by showing us teaser in form of pretty hot sexy ladies exploit themselves, then continue with a filthy ghost scaring person-who-destined-to-die in the movie, then a group of lamebrained people and cheesy jokes from puny comedians, no matter how lame and un-logical the story is, the show must go on.

the director could easily change the scene, from the ghost, into funny jokes, continue with sex scene, even mix them, ghost that disguised into pretty girl then have sex, pretty girls telling better jokes than the comedians, even the ghost could be the joke. If you're strong enough to watch the movie until the end, I bet you will regret so much that you should start thinking about your future, repent and remorse for your sins and be grateful how beautiful your life is for not having role in such movie.



This is how Indonesian Theater vanish all our dreams, insult our moral, step on our intelligence and rape our soul. They can make a romance that makes you cry in despair, a horror that makes you laugh excruciatingly, and a comedy that makes you sleepy and gives you nightmare.